When Jay Brownson walked onto 黑料不打烊鈥檚 Reno campus back in 2013 for the first day of his Registered Nursing program, he knew his life was about to change. 听 Little did he know just how many changes the future held. 听 At the time, Jay was married to his high school sweetheart, and the father of two sons鈥攚ith a third on the way. He was 22 years old and weighed 380 pounds. 听 Fast forward eight years: Today, at 30, Jay is divorced, weighs 180 pounds less鈥攁nd is openly gay. 听 In fact, one of the few things that hasn鈥檛 changed is Jay鈥檚 presence on the Reno campus. But instead of being a student, he鈥檚 now a popular instructor in the school鈥檚 Associate Degree in Nursing program. He also works full-time at Renown South Meadows Medical Center as a house supervisor, overseeing the operations of the 150-bed hospital鈥檚 day shift. 听 We talked with Jay about the importance of coming out, embracing change, and living openly.
Your life is very different than you were when you arrived at Carrington eight years ago. What has that journey been like for you?
听 There were times when it almost felt overwhelming, but I feel like whatever challenges I experienced have been worth the result, which is living the life I was meant to live. I left my marriage, had weight loss surgery and lost a lot of weight, completed my master鈥檚 degree, began teaching, got a job I really love at a hospital, and came out as a gay man. It hasn鈥檛 always been easy, but I can tell you it鈥檚 very liberating to own your truth and be who you are. 听
Why do you think coming out is important?
I鈥檝e never believed that it鈥檚 critical for people at school鈥攐r anywhere else鈥攖o know that I鈥檓 gay. But it is critical that I don鈥檛 feel a need to hide that fact. My sexuality is only one sliver of who I am as a human being. I鈥檓 grateful that the awareness and understanding about sexual identity and fluidity has increased in recent years. I think that鈥檚 largely the result of people feeling safe and comfortable enough to tell their truth and share their stories.
How did you come out at Carrington?
It was a gradual process. At first, I only talked with a handful of colleagues, but it didn鈥檛 take long before everyone knew. The good news is that it never felt like some big bombshell. I think it was probably most surprising to some of my former instructors, who had always known me as a married father. Fortunately, I think our culture has progressed to a point where it鈥檚 not some shocking revelation as much as it is another piece of information about a person.
Has your sexual orientation ever been an issue or a topic of conversation with your students?
I can only recall one time where I suspected that my sexual orientation might have been an issue. One particular student had deeply held religious beliefs, and while he never directly said anything negative, he was unusually distant and aloof. Considering I鈥檝e interacted with hundreds of students over the past two and a half years, that鈥檚 not a bad track record.
Do you consider Carrington to be an inclusive environment?
听 I do. For me, Carrington has been a place where differences are respected and embraced.
Is there anything you鈥檇 like to see changed or improved?
I think there鈥檚 always room for growth. I鈥檇 love to see LGBTQ+ clubs started on all of our campuses. I also think that in our nursing programs, it would be valuable to develop a presentation that focuses on how to more effectively interact with, and treat, LGBTQ+ patients. For example, if you鈥檙e caring for a lesbian who is married to another woman, that person isn鈥檛 her 鈥榞irlfriend鈥. She鈥檚 her wife. Something as simple as the words we choose can make a huge difference in a patient鈥檚 experience.
听What is your relationship with your ex-wife like these days?
My ex-wife is a wonderful woman, and the grace she鈥檚 displayed over the past few years is more than I could have ever hoped for. We had our first son when we were both 18. Everything I felt for my wife when we were together was real, so we have a strong foundation for this unique friendship and co-parenting relationship we鈥檝e created. We鈥檙e both now in new relationships and are very happy. Raising our sons is a priority that we 鈥揳nd our respective partners鈥攕hare. My ex told me the other day that she thought my partner has definitely become the 鈥榝avorite adult鈥 of one of our sons鈥攁nd I鈥檓 pretty sure she鈥檚 right!
Was coming out to your sons difficult?
I thought it would be. But surprisingly, it wasn鈥檛. Not long after we told the boys that we were getting divorced, my ex and I were taking the boys out to eat. They were 9, 7 and 3 at the time. My middle son said that if we each remarried, he would then have two mommies and two daddies. My ex and I looked at each other and we both knew it was the perfect time to begin the conversation. I told my son that if I ever got married again, it would be to a man. He got very quiet for a moment and then asked, 鈥淲ould you love him like you love mommy?鈥 I told him that yes, we would love each other鈥攁nd him鈥攙ery much. That鈥檚 all he needed to hear. In that moment, I knew we were going to be okay as a family.
Why do you think Pride Month matters?
It鈥檚 an opportunity to start conversations that might not otherwise happen. A student recently wished me a happy Pride Month. She explained that her husband had recently come out as gay, and that she was bisexual. Another student asked what I thought were the unique challenges LGBTQ+ people face when accessing health care. These kinds of conversations are much less likely to happen when people are living closeted lives.
Have you attended Pride parades or other events?
I haven鈥檛, and I probably won鈥檛 this year. After everything I鈥檝e seen at the hospital throughout the pandemic, I鈥檓 still not eager to be in big crowds quite yet. I鈥檓 more of a homebody anyway, but I really do value the awareness and visibility that comes from parades and other Pride Month events. I鈥檓 sure that one day I鈥檒l go and have a great time, but I can definitely wait another year for that to happen.